One of the joys of parenting, I've discovered, is the way it sort of contorts your lifestyle. Slowly, so you don't notice and think to resist. Until one day you realize that something has gone terribly wrong. It starts out innocently enough with cheerios in your purse, sticky spots on the kitchen floor, the sour milk smell in your car, and then one day you stumble into your kitchen, open the fridge, and find Kraft singles where there should be perfectly good cheese.
For the record, I would never introduce my child to processed cheese (say it like it smells bad). That my friends, would be the sole complaint I can lodge against Miss Linda. She fed my baby "American Cheese". My life will never be the same again.
Sure it melts real nice and comes all handy in those single serve portion control plastic slices, but I have to ask, why the heck does this nasty cheese-like gel that we peel off of cellophane carry the distinction of being "American Cheese"? The Swiss, the folks in Parma, the wood shoe wearing dudes in Gouda, all the people of the world have had the sense to make cheese that is actually, well, CHEESE. And we had to claim this? Oh, and it is just too cute to hear "I love American cheese the best, please Mama?" while at the grocery store, trying desperately to NOT spend $4 a pound on the orange rubber.
It's time for me to start shopping at the Co-op again.
1 comment:
don't forget its ability to be completely unrefridgerated and yet be just fine. and the fact that is bears the words "processed cheese FOOD" on the label-what other food must be denoted as FOOD on the label???? shouldn't we be able to tell it is food? hmmmm, interesting. at least the kind at the deli is more cheeselike and bears a resemblance to something dairy, but is it food too? it doesn't say on the label.....
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