I've always considered us so blessed to live here. In a place where you enroll your black child in school and the other parents are EXCITED that their children GET to have a black child in their class. Really.Where you can visit the local children's museum and the staff photographer follows them around the entire time hoping to snap a shot for their website.
Where strangers all think your child is cute, and sweet, and precious even thought he is being anything but at the moment.
And you can spend a lot of time floating in a world filled with rainbows and unicorns, because all is right and good.
Until some ignorant person reaches up with their sharp pointy fingers and pops your little bubble.
Because they see a photo of your child, and stick their grubby finger on his face and say, "who is the brown kid?" 
Because no one could possibly know WHICH kid she is asking about when she is looking at a photo of two children, one of which is HERS. Because when you physically touch the child in question in the photo you still need to add the adjective "brown" to differentiate that child from the other one pictured. Because simply saying "that kid" wouldn't do?
Not that "brown" is offensive. Of course it isn't. In fact it's often a compliment. I spent many hours of my youth desperately seeking a bit more brown in my complexion. Not that we don't use the term "brown" on a regular basis around here either. Of course he's brown stupid! 
Now for future reference. When searching for the appropriate adjective to identify my child from the group, next time you may start with unbelievably adorable, ridiculously smart or unbearably funny. Perhaps you could try beautiful, charming, enchanting, darling, delightful, charismatic, engaging, enthralling, fascinating, stunning or winsome. If none of those are your style, I'd take exquisite, delectable, irresistible or phenomenal. If all else fails, perfect will work just fine thank you.
6 comments:
It is frustrating and irritating beyond belief sometimes, isn't it? Some days, I'm just tired of "education" mode, and I find myself wanting to say, "Do you ever actually THINK about what you're saying before it leaves your mouth? You can't possibly be this ignorant all of the time, can you?" At the same time, I know that being a smart aleck will never help the situation, and I know that I need to respond with grace - but I sure don't want to!
well really, not being jerky, but often kids are just seeing it as an identifier b/c he does look different than the other children he usually sees and that is b/c he has brown skin. And that is how i usually reapsond, "the kid with the brown skin is mine!" and then it is a subtle way to include that it is a color of skin and nothing weird or bad, and that they are MINE and that is something that is ok, too. most people are truly not used to seeing brown skinned children having pasty white parents so it is somewhat of a legit question, and when coming from a child, it usually does not have any connotations with it. you know i am not trying to be a pain in the patoot, right? b/c i love ya and ashi and i know sometimes i am in defense mode but then i think about it and it is b/c we are conditioned to thinking it is a some bad thing-but when an Ethiopian calls me firenge, it is no big deal. but it is really the same thing, they are calling me "white foreigner" and the kids run thru the streets screaming it when i am there and it really isn't mean, just them noting a fact. So I would not worry too much about it, UNLESS it comes with ugly statements and slurs about his color, ya know? and ps-i LOVE Ashi's hair!! :)
Unfortunately it wasn't a child. It was another mother talking to her child. You can educate ignorant, but you can't fix stupid (I'm thinking she fell in the latter category) :)
When it is a kid, I am fine with it. A grown up?? come on. When we were at the library a few months ago, a boy from our school came up to me and said hi and then asked who my son was and I told him. He paused and said "How can a white person have a brown son?" and I said that was a very good question. He's adopted. I could see his mother was embarrassed and there was no reason to be. So, it depends on the situation. It was a genuine question. now ignorance is a whole nother matter. ugh!
AND THAT, PRAISE THE LORD, HAS BEEN OUR ONE AND ONLY COMMENT IN TWO YEARS FROM ANYONE ANYWHERE!
UGH!!!! Things like that are so frustrating... you are right... you can fix stupid. LOVE Ashi's hair!
totally get it- sorry...people need a LOT more education :)
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